Daddy’s blunt little instrument


rexuality:

realistic captions for selfies:

  • i took 34 photos and this one looks the least shitty
  • i tried really hard to take this at an angle where my arm didn’t look weird
  • i photoshopped a pimple out of this photo and used the smudge tool for like 8 minutes
  • i wish i had friends who took cute pictures of me so i wouldn’t be alone in my room for an hour trying to do this shit
  • this is the best photo i’ve ever taken please shower me with compliments

Reblog / posted 2 hours ago via drklim · © novur with 121,383 notes

novur:

SO SOME ASSHOLE GOT HOLD OF MY PHONE AND CHANGE ALL MY CONTACT NAMES, ICONS AND RINGTONES TO THIS FUCKING THING

SO NOW WHENEVER I GET A CALL MY PHONE THINKS IT’S BEING ALL CUTE LIKE “it is a mystery >O>” FUCK YOU MAN



  • boy:shit baby you're so wet already
  • girl:that's actually just vaginal discharge and my body is cleansing itself from bacteria and dead cells to prevent infection and to maintain optimal reproductive health i'm not even all that turned on right now and i would prefer to go get some food or something


only-when-im-on:

i love my bish kayla J! 

my friends are hella cutee



nbchannibal:

madam-b:

I’m more than happy to pay my respects to Hannibal NBC show by this street art. THIS IS MY DESIGN :)

THIS IS AMAZING!

*from Russia with love =*

We are in complete awe.